Hot chocolate or tea? High heels or flats? Hit the snooze button for the 19th time or finally get up? Curl your hair or put it up? Eat the whole package of Reese's or only eat one? (Ummm...duh - if you even have to spend any time contemplating that last question, we cannot be friends or related anymore.) Wine or beer or margaritas? To be or not to be?
Okay, so we all know that life is full of decisions. And, that those decisions change with your age and life situation. I mean, take a look back at your childhood and think about the most pressing decision you had then. And then high school...college...just graduated, etc. It's obvious that we have decisions to make each day. For many of us, those decisions are really not all that life altering. But, sometimes, sometimes, we find ourselves in a situation in which we are forced to make that really tough, life-changing choice. What I was wholly unprepared for when we got pregnant, was just how BIG those decisions are when you have a baby. Oh, sure, some of them are really not all that big of a deal - Huggies or Pamper or Luvs, Desitin or A&D, Graco or Chicco, etc. - but some of them sure are. And they seem to carry so much more weight and importance because it's your baby that you are talking about!
Andy, David and I have fumbled our way into just one of those life-changing, tough decision making scenarios. It took a lot of spluttering, splashing and floundering before we finally figured things out. You see, we always had this vision of how things would go as a family (I know, right? All you experienced parents are laughing because you know how fast those visions change based on your child(ren).) "Andy and I would both work, David would happily go to daycare, our house would always be spotless, a wonderful 5-course meal would always be on the table for dinner, none of us would ever get sick, we would all sleep like angels...blah, blah, blah." Yeah, well, that vision has been shot tohell a really warm place.
It turns out that it is A LOT harder to leave your child during the day than I thought it would be. It has been brutal to be gone from him. I drop him off every morning and he cries when I go. And, while I know this is a totally normal phase, it's still incredibly hard. Plus, he is just not the same baby at daycare that he is at home. He eats differently there (often, not enough), naps differently (often, not at all or only once), gets chronic diaper rash and I worry so much about the toll it is taking on him. Have we loved the things he's learned? Yes! Do I miss the fact that he learns them for someone else first and not me? Absolutely. Couple that with the ridiculous workload that teachers have now and, well, you have one unhappy mama.
So, through many, many, many tears (I'm truly surprised that I didn't start a new river) and the incredible support of Andy, my family and friends, I decided to resign at the end of this fall semester. It's practically unheard of for a teacher to leave mid-year, but I've realized that family has to come first. While I absolutely love what I do, it's just so much more important that I stay at home and raise my child(ren) and put that 5 course meal on the table. Well, let's not get carried away here...
Andy and I have a new vision - it's not as clear as the one we had while pregnant, but it is forming each and every day. It is cloudy and foggy at times, but we are working through what it will look like. We are sure to face surprises along the way, but I think we are better prepared because we know they will be coming. I have been absolutely humbled by the support I have received - particularly from the parents of my students. So, we just wanted you to know the newest and biggest change that is happening with our family. We are all so excited!
But, if you see me wandering around Highlands Ranch with curlers in my hair or the same yoga pants that I wore the day before or chasing my child down the street (this will totally happen, I am 100% positive) please feel free to have an intervention. :-)
Okay, so we all know that life is full of decisions. And, that those decisions change with your age and life situation. I mean, take a look back at your childhood and think about the most pressing decision you had then. And then high school...college...just graduated, etc. It's obvious that we have decisions to make each day. For many of us, those decisions are really not all that life altering. But, sometimes, sometimes, we find ourselves in a situation in which we are forced to make that really tough, life-changing choice. What I was wholly unprepared for when we got pregnant, was just how BIG those decisions are when you have a baby. Oh, sure, some of them are really not all that big of a deal - Huggies or Pamper or Luvs, Desitin or A&D, Graco or Chicco, etc. - but some of them sure are. And they seem to carry so much more weight and importance because it's your baby that you are talking about!
Andy, David and I have fumbled our way into just one of those life-changing, tough decision making scenarios. It took a lot of spluttering, splashing and floundering before we finally figured things out. You see, we always had this vision of how things would go as a family (I know, right? All you experienced parents are laughing because you know how fast those visions change based on your child(ren).) "Andy and I would both work, David would happily go to daycare, our house would always be spotless, a wonderful 5-course meal would always be on the table for dinner, none of us would ever get sick, we would all sleep like angels...blah, blah, blah." Yeah, well, that vision has been shot to
It turns out that it is A LOT harder to leave your child during the day than I thought it would be. It has been brutal to be gone from him. I drop him off every morning and he cries when I go. And, while I know this is a totally normal phase, it's still incredibly hard. Plus, he is just not the same baby at daycare that he is at home. He eats differently there (often, not enough), naps differently (often, not at all or only once), gets chronic diaper rash and I worry so much about the toll it is taking on him. Have we loved the things he's learned? Yes! Do I miss the fact that he learns them for someone else first and not me? Absolutely. Couple that with the ridiculous workload that teachers have now and, well, you have one unhappy mama.
So, through many, many, many tears (I'm truly surprised that I didn't start a new river) and the incredible support of Andy, my family and friends, I decided to resign at the end of this fall semester. It's practically unheard of for a teacher to leave mid-year, but I've realized that family has to come first. While I absolutely love what I do, it's just so much more important that I stay at home and raise my child(ren) and put that 5 course meal on the table. Well, let's not get carried away here...
Andy and I have a new vision - it's not as clear as the one we had while pregnant, but it is forming each and every day. It is cloudy and foggy at times, but we are working through what it will look like. We are sure to face surprises along the way, but I think we are better prepared because we know they will be coming. I have been absolutely humbled by the support I have received - particularly from the parents of my students. So, we just wanted you to know the newest and biggest change that is happening with our family. We are all so excited!
But, if you see me wandering around Highlands Ranch with curlers in my hair or the same yoga pants that I wore the day before or chasing my child down the street (this will totally happen, I am 100% positive) please feel free to have an intervention. :-)
Gretchen, thank you so much for sharing! These are such hard decisions. Children change so fast and life turns into one continual question mark of "am I making the right choices for my life and my family?" I know your students have been incredibly lucky to have you for a teacher. This will be a good adventure too. Love, Jeanette
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